


All My Love to Give

by Muccamukk



Category: Band of Brothers (TV 2001)
Genre: Canon Era, Episode: s01e01 Currahee, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Gentle Sex, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Praise Kink, Size Kink, Teasing, it's so fluffy I'm gonna die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-31 08:28:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21130151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muccamukk/pseuds/Muccamukk
Summary: Johnny wants to screw around to pass the time. Bull wants to show Johnny how he feels without having to risk saying it.





	All My Love to Give

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Loose Lips Sink Ships prompt: "Johnny is a total pillow prince." May have gotten feels all over it and wandered off brief.

Bull lay on his back on the bed, his arms folded behind his head and watched Johnny fuss with his hair. His cigar had just about run out, and he was going to have to move eventually, but it felt so nice and easy where he was that it hadn't happened yet.

"You not going out?" Johnny asked.

"Wasn't thinking of it," Bull said, he took a long draw of the the cigar and considered it now. "Seen all the shows and that."

"Hmm," Johnny muttered. He was in his shirtsleeves, and if he'd be a woman, he'd be redoing his lipstick. He reached for his cologne, but Bull caught his eye in the mirror and shook his head. Johnny already reeked of the stuff, even fresh after a shower and shave. "I'm gonna want the room later."

The were sharing a Red Cross billet in London, two narrow bunks in a thin-walled room with a bathroom down the hall. Bill and Joe were sharing the next room over, with Malarkey and Penkala on the other side.

"Counting on your luck are you?" Bull asked. "All the time you're taking, you sure the other guys won't pick up all the girls before you even get out there?"

"Lotsa girls in London," Johnny said, not sounding concerned. "Not many of 'em have a place to take a fellow though."

"The park," Bull pointed out, but he knew that if Johnny wheedled, Bull would go find some place quiet to drink for a couple hours while he had his fun back here. Bull watched the curve of Johnny's spine as he bent over the sink, the way his shirt clung to his sides and showed off the muscles of his back. He imagined Johnny without the shirt on, flushed and covered in sweat, his dark chest hairs clinging to his skin. Bull imagined his hair messed up from someone raking their fingers through it, his lips parted and his eyes dark with lust.

"Park's full of fairies," Johnny said dismissively, which was certainly true.

"Was thinking of going down there myself," Bull commented.

Johnny turned sharply and narrowed his eyes. "To find a fairy?" he asked in a rough whisper.

Bull shrugged, the motion jerking his elbow up towards the wall. He didn't really want to go out, but it was a better choice than downing beer after beer and thinking about something he couldn't have.

"Christ," Johnny muttered. He folded his arms and scowled down at Bull, who was still in his undershirt and skivvies. "Ain't that risky?"

"Not really," Bull told him. He wondered if Johnny's anger was because his friend was taking a risk, or because Bull was a queer. He'd confessed that part on a drunken trip to Atlanta almost a year ago, and Johnny'd said he didn't give two shits back then. He'd said he'd even gone for men when there weren't any women around himself. He hadn't seemed to care when he knew that Bull was out cruising either, so Bull didn't know why he was getting a cold eye now. "It's plenty dark," he expanded when Johnny didn't stop glowering, "And you trip over as many working girls as you do fairies. That ain't legal neither. Cops ain't looking."

Johnny sucked in a breath and then puffed it out before saying, "I can make you a better offer than fucking someone against a wall in the park."

"That right?" Bull asked. "I don't need you to set me up with no one, but I'd be obliged if you'd let me have the room."

That just made Johnny's scowl deepen, and he chewed the inside of his lip. Bull could see Johnny's shoulders bunch as he clenched his hands into fists, but his hands themselves were hidden by his tightly folded arms. He was pissed off, and thinking what to say about it, and Bull still couldn't work out why.

"We're both looking for the same thing," Johnny said after a moment.

"If you say so," Bull said. He considered the last stub of the cigar before grinding it out in the ashtray above the bed.

"Little company," Johnny expanded, "some way to get off that's not our own hand."

"I suppose." Bull didn't see where this was going, or why Johnny was looking at him like there was a problem, and it was Bull's fault.

"We're both looking at using the same room for the same thing," Johnny said.

Bull was tired of dealing with this situation from upside down and sideways and sat up. "I'd just as soon not go out at all," Bull said. "You're the one kicking me out."

"What if I weren't?" Johnny asked.

"You mean, would I still go out?" Bull thought about it. "I guess now that I'm thinking of it, I may as well. Could use a little company, like you said."

"What if," Johnny hesitated, made himself unfold his arms, sat down next to Bull so close their knees bumped, "What if I stayed in, too. With you."

It took a few seconds for Bull's brain to move around from thinking of going out and finding a boy in the park to the possibilities of what Johnny was offering. It took a minute more to work out if he was serious, or having Bull on. When Bull didn't answer, Johnny put his hand on Bull's knee and squeezed lightly. His eyes flicked from his hand to Bull's face and back again, and only then did Bull clue in that Johnny had to be nervous about the whole thing.

Bull covered Johnny's hand with his own, just resting it there, in case Johnny changed his mind and wanted to pull away. "You sure you want that?" Bull asked.

"Wouldn't offer if I wasn't," Johnny said. He spread his legs so that his calf rubbed against Bull's and inched his hand up Bull's thigh. Bull's skin was bare there, and Johnny's touch made his skin tingle. "We both want the same thing out of tonight."

"Close enough for horseshoes," Bull agreed. He thought he maybe wanted a little bit more than Johnny did, but he'd take keeping each other company and touching each other. "You reckon you'd like screw me?" he asked.

Johnny licked his lips and kept his eyes on their joined hands. "That what you want?"

"If you like," Bull said. If this was a real offer, he wasn't about to be picky about the details.

"And if you got to pick?" Johnny asked. "If I said you could do what you liked?"

Bull took a minute to think that over, and another minute to scale back his expectations to something more reasonable. He was getting stiff already just imagining it. "If I could do what I liked," Bull said slowly, watching Johnny's expression to see if he was taking the wrong angle of approach, "if you didn't mind it too much, I'd like to be on top."

Johnny swallowed and his hand tightened on Bull's leg, but he nodded shortly. "I'd like that," he said. "I like... well, I like to be taken care of, you know?"

Bull snorted, "You mean you'd like me to do all the work."

"You said it," Johnny agreed. His shoulders dipped a bit as he let himself take a breath, and his eyes crinkled in the way they did when he was hiding a smile. That was the first moment that Bull knew for sure it was real.

"You want me to touch you and tell you how good you feel?" Bull asked. He closed his hand over Johnny's so that their fingers interlaced. "You want me to screw you real slow so you come a couple of times before I'm through?"

Johnny wet his lips. "Yes," he whispered.

"You want me to undress you?" Bull asked.

"Yes."

"I gotta kiss you, first," Bull decided. He let go of Johnny's hand, and took his face, and tipped his head. Johnny didn't lean in towards Bull, but he parted his lips and watched Bull expectantly. He wasn't making any moves, but he didn't seem nervous. Bull closed the distance between them. They were both turned half sideways on the bed, which felt a little awkward, but his mouth met Johnny's just fine.

Johnny's skin was smooth and still damp from showering, and he smelled of that damn cologne, but Bull breathed in his scent as he touched his lips to Johnny's. They were softer than he expected, and parted willingly under Bull's touch. He sucked lightly at Johnny's lower lip just to see what he'd do.

Johnny let out a soft moan, almost a breath, but from the way he leaned in, Bull knew that he liked what Bull was doing and wanted more. Bull touched Johnny's lips with his tongue, and Johnny closed his eyes. Bull didn't. He liked looking at Johnny this close up, even if he couldn't see anything properly. He liked knowing it was finally him and Johnny together just like he'd always wanted. He kissed the corner of Johnny's mouth, and Johnny tried to turn his face to get a deeper kiss, but Bull was still cradling his face between his hands and wouldn't let him. Bull kissed Johnny full on the lips lingeringly, before pulling away to kiss his cheek, smooth from shaving, and the soft place right in front of Johnny's ear.

"I'm gonna take my time with you," Bull whispered, and Johnny groaned softly at the promise. He moved his hand up Bull's thigh until it covered his crotch. Johnny'd didn't stroke Bull, but his hand pressing down lightly over his cock was enough to hurry him along a little. "I like kissing you," Bull said.

When he went back to Johnny's mouth, he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Johnny let him, opening his mouth under the touch of Bull's tongue. Bull buried his fingers in Johnny's hair and leaned in. His tongue traced the edges of Johnny's teeth. Johnny tasted like army toothpaste and coffee, and Bull touched Johnny's tongue with his own. The kiss was so warm and pliant, that Bull didn't want it to stop. He could just keep sitting on the bed and kissing Johnny all night, maybe while they stroked each other off. He let go of one side of Johnny's face in order to stroke his leg and feel for his cock, but Johnny had his legs closed.

That was all right, Bull would get Johnny to open them. He kissed Johnny's jawline near his ear, then his throat just under the curve of his jaw. When he got down to Johnny's pulse point—where his skin was a little rough from missed stubble, and tasted of alcohol from his cologne—Bull sucked lightly to raise a mark. He felt Johnny's throat vibrate under his lips as he groaned, then again as Johnny said, "Bull..." reproachfully.

Bull stopped licking at the spot long enough to mumble, "They won't know it was me." Bull would know it was his mark though. Half the company would come back looking thoroughly loved up, but Bull would be able to look at Johnny, and know.

Johnny sighed faintly, but didn't try to push Bull's head away. Bull sucked again, making sure the spot had pupled. He liked the feel of Johnny's skin under his mouth anyway. He kissed the centre of Johnny's throat, right on his Adam's apple, and Johnny chuckled.

To touch any more of him, Bull had to slide Johnny's tie free of the knot, and undo his top button. His hands fumbled a little with the little piece of plastic. When it popped free, Bull had the hollow of Johnny's throat to kiss, and the edges of his collarbones. His undershirt got in the way after that, so Bull went back to kissing Johnny's mouth while his hands worked down Johnny's shirt undoing the buttons as he went.

When he pulled the shirt out of Johnny's trousers and got the bottom button, Johnny's hand squeezed Bull's cock through his own skivvies. Bull had been pleasantly hard, but the promise of Johnny's touch, and the reminder that this was something they were going to get to do, that Bull was undressing his best friend in order to make love to him, made Bull's cock rise under Johnny's touch, Bull spread his legs a little more and rocked into Johnny's hand.

Soon. Bull was going to get to touch all he wanted soon, but right now he had to forget how he felt and focus on making Johnny understand what Bull felt about him. The trick was, he couldn't say a word about it, only use his hands and lips to show Johnny, and hope he understood, hope that's what he wanted. From the way Johnny was kissing him back, there was some chance yet. 

Bull ran his hands up Johnny's sides. His skin was so smooth there still. All the training they'd gone through, and they were still unmarked by the war. Bull followed the line of Johnny's spine up until he had his shirt bunched at the back of his neck, then broke the kiss long enough to pull the shirt over his head.

Then he had Johnny naked to the waist. Bull hardly knew where to start. He realised that he was grinning like an idiot, and Johnny smiled back at him. Bull could feel happiness buzzing through him along with desire. He decided the best thing to do was start kissing the top of Johnny's chest where he'd left off, and work his way down from there. He ran his hands down Johnny's arms. He was all muscle and lean-boned strength, but his skin was smooth under Bull's touch, and they were both warm with desire. Bull kissed Johnny's collar bones then the centre of his chest over his sternum. He had wiry black chest hair, but Bull found it was softer than he'd thought it would be. He rubbed his cheek against Johnny's chest like a cat. He wondered if Johnny liked his nipples touched, and they were right there, so he put his lips to one and sucked, licking the nub with the tip of his tongue. Johnny let out a huff of breath that Bull took for pleasure. Bull smiled against Johnny's skin. He licked the other nipple, and worked his way down Johnny's chest until it was too awkward to bend over any more, then he slid too the floor.

"Bull," Johnny said, but Bull couldn't tell if it was meant as an encouragement or as an admonition. When Bull knelt in front of him, Johnny opened his legs though, which was a clear enough message. He was already starting to tent the front of his trousers.

Bull leaned in to press the side of his face against Johnny's stomach. He wrapped his arms around Johnny's waist and held on for a moment, enjoying the feel of him in his arms.

Johnny petted Bull's hair and said gently, "You ain't sweet on me or something, are you?"

There wasn't anything Bull could say to that. He let go and kissed the dark hair just below Johnny's navel until he ran into the line of Johnny's belt. After that, he skipped down to unlace Johnny's boots and pull them off. He moved a little faster, wanting to show that he could deliver what he promised without getting buried in sentiment, but Bull still took the time to run his hands up under the trouser cuffs and up the backs of Johnny's thighs. He massaged the muscles lightly, and Johnny made a sound similar to the one he'd made when Bull had sucked at his nipple. If Bull could get on his hands on some oil, assuming this ever happened again, he was going to rub the tension out of every inch of Johnny's body and then fuck him slow and sweet.

For now, Bull knelt up a little higher and undid Johnny's fly. Instead of pulling his dick out of his skivvies, Bull leaned down and mouthed it through the thin cotton. Johnny grunted and tightened his fingers in Bull's hair, but couldn't get any purchase. Johnny's cock was a solid bar through his skivvies, and it twitched as Bull sucked and slurped against the fabric. He wanted to taste Johnny, and he angled his head to take the tip of Johnny's dick in his mouth, and curled his lips around his teeth to suck down on it. He couldn't get any real grip with the underwear in the way, but it was still enough to make Johnny buck up against his mouth and stifle a cry. Johnny tried to pull Bull's head down towards his dick, but Bull shook his hands loose, and Johnny dropped his hands onto Bull's shoulders.

"Yeah," Johnny muttered, and tightened his grip enough that Bull thought he might like that massage too. "Jesus, you're good, and I haven't taken my pants off yet."

"Wanna try that now?" Bull looked up at Johnny, his lips a hair away from the damp cotton, and his breath cooling it. He took the edge of Johnny's trousers and pulled down while Johnny lifted his hips. He was watching Bull with wide eyes, like he couldn't quite believe this was happening, and was worried that he might say something to break the illusion. Bull licked over the head of Johnny's dick, making the move sloppy and slow, the taste of his come bitter across his tongue, then grinned up at Johnny.

"Jesus," Johnny said again. "You're filthy."

"You ain't seen nothing yet," Bull told him he put his hands on Johnny's knees and pushed them apart so that he could lean in closer. Johnny's cock was already stiff, standing up dark and red against the pale skin of Johnny's stomach. Johnny leaned back a little, holding onto Bull's shoulders for balance. He was already starting to breathe hard, and his ribs rose and fell. Bull kept looking up at him, watching as his face changed from awestruck to impatient.

"You going to just sit down there all day?" Johnny asked.

"What you want me to do something else?"

"Dick," Johnny grumbled, but he didn't pull forward or try to force Bull's head again.

Bull didn't want him to have to wait. He leaned in and ran his tongue over Johnny's balls. Johnny's legs twitched and shuddered under Bull's hands, and he sucked in a breath and his stomach tightened as he leaned back. Bull didn't have to look to know Johnny was tipping his head back and sucking his lips in.

"I like making you cry," Bull told him. "Wanna see all the sounds I can get you to make. Someday," he added wistfully.

"Someday?" Johnny asked. "So we really aren't going to get anything done today."

Bull decided the best way to shut him up was to suck his dick until he came. When he tried it, it didn't shut Johnny up, but it did stop him talking. Johnny started to cry out then stifled it in to a high whine of pleasure.

It had been too long since Bull had had a cock in his mouth, especially somewhere safe and quiet where he could take his time, not in a toilet stall or behind a bush in a park. He savoured the soapy taste of Johnny's skin as he drew back, but not as much as he enjoyed the way every move Bull made transmitted through Johnny's whole body. He could make Johnny feel anything he liked this way. Bull could tighten his lips and make Johnny gasp and flex his grip on Bull's shoulders, or he could slacken his mouth and roll his tongue along the bottom of Johnny's cock and make him sigh and tremble. Johnny's knees clenched on either side of Bull's shoulders when Bull hummed as low as he could and bobbed his head up and down. He made the full draw up to the head of Johnny's cock as long and slow as he could, until Johnny stopped trying to keep his responses in check and started to say Bull's name in a pleading tone Bull had never heard from him.

The bitter taste of Johnny's come made Bull's mouth water, and he made sure to make a wet slurp and let the drool run down Johnny's cock and over his balls when he finally lifted his head. Bull looked up.

Johnny was panting, his legs spread wide and starting to slick with sweat. He'd flushed so dark that his lips were pink and demanding to be kissed, but Bull told himself he could do that later. If he worked it right, he could convince Johnny that he didn't need to go out at all, and spend the rest of the night kissing him. Bull looked down at the cock in front of him, heavy and cut, the vein along the bottom pulsing.

Johnny's breath caught as Bull leaned back in, then huffed out in a laugh when Bull stopped with his mouth a hair's breadth away from his balls.

"You like drawing things out, don't you?" Johnny had a smile in his voice, and Bull smiled back.

"You just relax, now," Bull told him, every word a puff of breath on Johnny's dick. "Relax and close your eyes. Let me take care of you."

Before Johnny could make a smart comment on that, Bull used the tip of his tongue to trace the vein on Johnny's cock from where it started between his balls to the divot just below the head. Johnny groaned and dug his fingernails into Bull's shoulders. Bull followed up by slurping back down Johnny's dick until the head touched the back of his throat. He stayed there for long enough that Johnny's hands drifted back to Bull's hair. Johnny didn't try to press him forward this time, but encouraged him with caresses and strokes of his palms over Bull's scalp.

Bull took two long breaths through his nose. He hadn't done this in a while, but he wanted to try for Johnny. When his head was swimming from breathing deeply, Bull swallowed hard and kept swallowing as he dropped his head towards Johnny's legs. The cock was thick and hard in Bull's throat, but the way Johnny's legs flexed on either side of him and his voice pitched up as he started to beg.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god, Bull, please," was all Bull could hear as Johnny tumbled further away from coherency.

Bull kept swallowing and soon his nose pressed against Johnny's stomach. Bull couldn't breathe any more, but he held steady, knowing that the feel of his throat working around Johnny's dick had to be driving him half mad. Bull couldn't do much more than play his tongue over the cock filling his mouth, but even that was enough to make Johnny cry out in a hoarse broken voice. He wasn't begging any more, just raking his blunt fingernails across Bull's scalp as if he could work the curls straight. His hands tightened convulsively over the back of Bull's head every time Bull swallowed around his dick. The strain and the angle was starting to make Bull's jaw ache, and the lack of oxygen made his head spin. Bull knew he could bring Johnny off just like this in a minute, but he didn't want that.

Johnny sighed in disappointment as Bull pulled away, his throat tightening as Johnny's dick slid out, and Bull started sucking again.

"I'm so close," Johnny lamented, and Bull ignored him. He'd been able to tell how close Johnny was just by the feel of his pulse racing against the stretched skin of Bull's throat. Bull could tell now by the way Johnny was breathing, the edge of a whine in his voice. He could tell by the way Johnny's legs tensed under his hands, how his muscles trembled.

Bull dug his thumbs into Johnny's thighs, following the lines of his muscles forward and back. Johnny took a sharp breath, like he just realised where he was, and his hips jerked up. Bull sucked hard just then, and Johnny spilled into his mouth with a whispered, "Goddammit, Bull."

Johnny kept stroking Bull's hair, his movements gentling, and Bull kept his head down and sucked until Johnny let go and slumped back against the wall with a thud.

"God," Johnny breathed. "Shoulda asked you to do that in Atlanta."

"I would have," Bull told him. "You could have asked any time." That was as close to a confession of feelings as he'd get, and he didn't want Johnny to get off on that track, so he moved back enough to push Johnny's legs together and left them onto the bed so that Johnny fell over to lie on his back.

Bull stripped, then patted Johnny's uniform for his flask and took a long pull of what turned out to be gin to rinse his mouth out before he climbed up onto the bed and kissed Johnny. His lips were still pink and inviting, and Bull savoured the taste of them under the sharp bite of the alcohol.

There wasn't much room for two on the narrow Red Cross bunk, and Bull had to keep one foot on the floor and the other knee jambed between Johnny's thigh and the wall. He pinned Johnny's shoulders to the bed as he bent down. His own dick was hard, and he wanted to rub off between Johnny's sweat-slicked thighs. The head of his cock kept brushing Johnny's leg, and it was so tempting to finish here.

Johnny turned his head away to break the kiss and asked, "So are you going to fuck me, or what?"

Bull laughed and twisted around to kiss him hard in retaliation, but knowing how much Johnny wanted it helped hold himself back. Bull dropped forward and buried his face against Johnny's neck, inhaling deeply. Johnny still reeked of aftershave, but perspiration and soap lingered underneath. Skin that had still been damp from the shower now tasted of salt as Bull kissed it. He could feel their hearts pounding, and Johnny's breath ruffled Bull's hair. Johnny was so warm and pliant under him that Bull could have just slept there, if he weren't so damn hard.

"All right, then," Bull said when he pushed away from Johnny, "lets get you settled." He reached across the narrow space between their bunks and grabbed the other pillow to jam under Johnny's hips. Kneeling between his legs made a little more room to do things. One of Johnny's legs fell off the side of the bed, and Bull raised the other back and up, pinning it between Bull's flank and the wall. Bull reached under his own pillow for the tube of slick and carton of condoms he'd stored there.

When he met Johnny's eyes, Johnny was biting his lip to keep from grinning, and the expression made Bull so happy he had to kiss Johnny again to keep from either telling him he loved him or starting to blubber. Johnny opened his mouth under Bull's and let his tongue in. It was almost enough to distract Bull, but Johnny's hands in his hair again reminded him of what they were supposed to be doing. Bull knelt up so that he could use both hands, and poured some slick onto his fingers. He dripped the rest of the tube of his own cock and Johnny's balls while he was at it. He put a condom on and slicked that too before tossing the tube aside.

Johnny watched him from below. He was still relaxed from having come, but had a worry line in his brow that Bull didn't like. He should be lying in a puddle of bliss and relaxation, not worrying about what Bull would do. Bull hoped that someday Johnny would trust enough not to worry about getting hurt in bed.

"I wasn't..." Johnny hesitated, worrying at his lip, then burst out with, "I ain't done this in a while, all right?"

"Thought you was in a hurry," Bull said, but he couldn't tease Johnny when he was that anxious. He dropped down to brace himself on his elbow, letting their chests touch again, put his lips to Johnny's ear, and asked, "You want me to go slow for you now?"

"Bull." Johnny drew out his name almost whining, but at the same time he shifted on the pillow to raise his ass a little. He clearly still wanted what Bull was offering, just in the way Johnny wanted it. "Yeah, sure, I want you to seduce me."

Bull froze. For a moment, he wasn't sure he could breathe. He wanted to ask what the hell Johnny thought he'd been doing for the past half hour, but of course Johnny thought he was passing the time during a slow evening in.

That was fine. If Johnny wanted to make a game of seduction, then Bull could do that. He stayed where he was, his body lying along Johnny's, his lips to Johnny's ear, but lifted his hips enough to make room for his hand between their bodies. It was awkward and really they needed a bigger bed, but Bull could still stroke Johnny's balls and spent cock.

Johnny hissed in discomfort, but Bull could hear the pleased whine under it, and Johnny turned his head to kiss Bull's hair behind his ear.

"Promised you'd come a couple times," Bull said. He paused to nip Johnny's earlobe. He wasn't stroking Johnny's dick, but holding it lightly in his hand. "You ever think about me like this?" he asked. "Ever imagine my mouth on you, think about what'd feel like to have my dick up inside you?" Bull squeezed just hard enough to be felt, and Johnny whimpered and rocked his hips up into Bull's hands. It made his leg rub against Bull's cock, and Bull had to close his eyes and focus.

"Yeah," Johnny admitted. "I think about you. I been thinking about you since what you said in Atlanta."

Bull extended his index finger and trailed it down behind Johnny's balls until the tip of it touched Johnny's hole. Bull didn't have to say anything then, Johnny exhaled a high needy sound and tried to wiggle his ass. Bull had him pinned, though, right where he wanted him. Johnny seemed to like that too, so Bull asked, "Ever think that I could just pick you up and screw you against a wall? Featherweight like you, and a big guy like me, I can do what I like with you."

He expected Johnny to say something about how Bull could _try_, but instead he murmured almost too softly to hear, "Yeah."

"That what you mean by being taken care of?" Bull asked. "You mean you want to be taken hard and deep, filled right up until you can't feel nothing else?" He pushed the tip of his finger into Johnny's hole, and felt the ring of muscle squeeze around it. It wasn't like Johnny was trying to push Bull out, it was like he was trying to feel more. Bull pushed in as far as his first knuckle, and circled his finger. That tightened his hold on Johnny's cock, and Johnny stifled a sob. "You been waiting for me to make a move, Johnny?"

"Yeah," Johnny said again, and Bull couldn't believe it. Johnny had always been the kind of guy who just went for what he wanted, when he wanted it. Except, he usually did that when one of his friends needed something, and maybe he'd thought what Bull had needed was to be left alone. "Bull?" Johnny asked softly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you like this?"

Bull sighed softly in relief. "Course I do," he said. "Course I like being with you."

"Tell me," Johnny said.

"All right," Bull agreed. He let go of Johnny's cock so that he could push his finger deeper inside him. It went all the way up to his hand without any real resistance. Johnny was relaxed, and if Bull wanted to take him rough, he probably could just do it. Seemed like Johnny might even enjoy that kind of thing, but Bull had promised a seduction.

It was easier to talk about what he liked about being with Johnny than to talk himself up as some hulking beast anyway. He knew that some men liked his size, but he wanted what was between them to be something besides just that. "You feel so good under me," he said into Johnny's ear as he pumped his finger in and out. "You're so strong, and you've got so much fight in you. You don't have to take nothing, but for me..." Bull dragged his finger down until the tip found the place that made Johnny gasp and writhe under Bull. "For me, you give it all up. When I touch you, you show me exactly how you feel. I like that, and I like how your body fits under mine, and how you ain't afraid to show me when you want more, even when you don't say it. You're greedy for me, and I want you so bad."

"Course you do," Johnny said, his flippancy back, or the semblance of it, at least.

But Bull wasn't going to banter back and forth. He pushed a second finger into Johnny and let it play at the edge of his hole. His first finger still rolled over the one spot inside Johnny, and soon Johnny couldn't talk at all, let alone tease Bull.

"Course I do," Bull said. He was trying to sound casual in return, but he had too much invested in getting this one moment of truth, even if it was disguised as a game. "Always did like the way you looked," he said. "You're a handsome man, Johnny, with a great body. All the times I thought about you, it was never this good."

"You haven't—" Johnny gasped as Bull twisted his hand, spreading him wider. He was so sensitive. Bull was going to spend an hour licking him until he begged to be fucked. Someday. "Haven't even gotten any," Johnny finished. He was trying to thrust up onto Bull's fingers, but with one leg pinned and the other off the bed, he didn't have any leverage, and ended up just twisting under Bull's body. Bull could have come just from the pleasure of that, if he weren't holding on for what it would feel like to be inside Johnny.

"Don't need to," Bull told him. He was starting to run out of breath himself, and their bodies were both slick with sweat. "You're so hot and tight around my fingers, you're almost burning my hand. Know you'll be the best I ever been with."

Bull pushed a third finger in and drove all three in as far as they would go. Johnny was slicked up and ready, any more ready and he'd start to cry for the want of it. Bull pressed all three fingers to the spot inside Johnny, rolling the tips over it one by one, and Johnny's cries of pleasure were a balm to Bull's heart. He didn't care to hold it in any more, but moaned in a full throated way that made Bull want to feel Johnny's mouth around his dick. He was getting loud enough that Bull lifted his head to kiss him, but that only meant that every time Bull rocked his fingers into Johnny, he caught the resulting cry with his lips. 

Johnny had been holding Bull's hair, but now he pushed his head up so he could say, "Come on, Bull, I need you."

"All right," Bull told him. He started to pull his fingers out, but lingered at the entrance to Johnny's hole, spreading them out and stretching the muscles there. He knew Johnny liked that, and wanted to draw this out a little more. He wouldn't last long once Johnny was clenching around his cock like he was around Bull's fingers. "All right," Bull said more softly too himself. He needed to do this right.

Bull pulled free and hooked his arms under Johnny's knees, raising and spreading his legs. He watched Johnny's face carefully, but aside from him crewing on his lip a little, he didn't show any sign of being uncomfortable. With Johnny's legs up near Bull's shoulders, Bull had him spread wide in underneath him, ready to take whatever Bull wanted to give him. He looked up at Bull and mouthed something, maybe "please."

"Steady, now," Bull told him. He leaned down to take Johnny's hips and pin him firmly to the bed. The tip of Bull's cock slide up and down between Johnny's ass cheeks until he found Johnny's hole. He didn't press, not yet, but waited there, watching to make sure Johnny was ready.

"Goddammit, Bull," Johnny finally muttered and bent his legs to dig his heels into Bull's back. He didn't have much purchase, and it trapped Bull's arms against his sides, but Johnny's point was clear.

"We're gonna take this real slow," Bull promised him anyway, or maybe it was that he was reminding himself not to just rut into Johnny until he found his own release. He shifted his grip one hand at a time until Johnny's legs were rubbing against Bull's sides, and Bull was free to move. The head of his cock still pressed against Johnny's hole, but didn't enter him.

"Bull!" Johnny snapped, the edge of a sergeant's command sneaking into his voice. He dug his heels into Bull's back and tried to pull him down, but he wasn't going to force Bull to hurry this, not when he'd been so anxious a minute ago.

"Easy, Johnny," Bull said, his voice more placid than he felt. "You just relax, now, let me take care of everything. That's what you want, ain't it?"

"Yeah," Johnny admitted and slumped back onto the bed. He kept his legs wrapped around Bull, but stopped trying to pull him in. "Just don't take all day, will you?"

Johnny's cock was starting to get hard again, and Bull let go of his hip to stroke it a couple of times. He liked the angle he had here, how he could look down over Johnny's body as he responded to Bull's touch. He could look Johnny in the eye and watch him flush and widen his eyes, see the moans as tension building in his shoulders and neck before they finally found a voice. 

"Please," Johnny whimpered, "Bull, you gotta..."

Bull wanted to make Johnny keep begging—to tell Bull all the filthy things he needed, to praise Bull and plead for more—but Bull also couldn't stand hearing that kind of want in Johnny's voice and not sate it. At heart, he would always be the man who gave Johnny what he wanted. Bull pushed forward. Johnny's ass resisted for the briefest moment, then Bull was inside.

The heat and clench of Johnny's ass around the head of his dick was better than Bull ever could have thought. It was the best thing in the world. Bull had to breathe through clenched teeth to hold himself back, and he realised that the high whine he was hearing was coming from himself, not Johnny.

Johnny, who was taking quick shallow breaths and trying to make himself relax and take it, whose cock was throbbing in Bull's hand. Bull touched Johnny's chest, his fingers spread wide, and let it rise and fall as Johnny panted through the feeling of being penetrated.

"It's all right," Bull told him, "You're doing just fine, Johnny. You feel so good. I can hardly say how much I wanted this, and you... you're just..." Bull had to break off before he said too much. Johnny's breathing was starting to settle and deepen under Bull's touch, so he eased in a little more. Once his cock was inside Johnny's ass, the slide in deeper became easier. Bull rocked his hips gently, each thrust pushing just a bit further than the last.

He could tell when his cock pushed past the sensitive place inside Johnny, because Johnny gasped and tightened his hold on the blanket under them. That wasn't enough, and Johnny grabbed Bull's forearms and dug his fingers in. He cried out as though struck each time Bull rubbed past the place. Compared to the cool air of the room, Johnny was shockingly hot inside, and Bull just wanted to sink in until he couldn't move a hair, but he liked the way he could make Johnny feel too much to do it.

"That's right," Bull told him. "You're taking me so well; you're so good. I just don't know if I can be with anyone after you. You look perfect when I'm taking you: your cock hard again, the way you're moving under me. I could watch you all day."

"You better"—Johnny licked his lips and cried out again when Bull rocked further into him—"you better not."

"Shhh," Bull murmured. He slid the rest of the way into Johnny in one slow thrust. When Bull's stomach was touching Johnny's cock, and his balls brushed Johnny's ass, Bull let himself fall back forward. He planted one elbow between Johnny's shoulder and the wall and braced a forearm above Johnny's head. They lay with their bodies almost touching. Johnny's dick was trapped between their bellies, and Bull's dog tags fell forward and bounced off Johnny's chin.

"Kiss me," Johnny said, so Bull did. He rocked their bodies together without pulling apart at all. The heat and clench of Johnny's ass around him would be enough to bring him off soon, even if Johnny's mouth, fierce and needy under his, wouldn't be. Bull closed his eyes and tried to pull himself together, just for a little bit, but he was moaning against Johnny's mouth and couldn't seem to stop. Johnny's dick slid between them, its path slicked by the perspiration rolling off both their bodies.

Bull kissed Johnny until he could hardly breathe, then he straightened a little and drew back. Johnny snarled when he did, pressing his face to Bull's neck and clinging to his shoulders, clinging to Bull's body with his legs, Johnny's thighs clenching Bull's sides like a vice. He didn't have words in him any more than Bull did, but what he wanted was clear enough.

"Shhh," Bull murmured again. "Shhh." It took everything he had to pull away from the snug fit he'd found inside Johnny's body. Bull drew back until he was about half way out and then couldn't stand it any more and had to fall back towards Johnny. Bull's shoulder carried most of his weight so he wouldn't crush Johnny under him, and Johnny clung to those too. Bull felt like he was rocking both of their bodies back and forth. He was still feeling breathless even though they weren't kissing any more, and his head spun with how much he wanted release.

Bull knew that if he paused to collect himself, he'd stick where he was and come just from being inside Johnny, so he started to pull out again right away.

Johnny moved his hold from Bull's shoulders to Bull's hair, pulling him down so their forehead's rested together. He was searching Bull's face for something, and Bull knew he was probably giving too much away, but there wasn't time to think of that now. The friction and slide of Johnny's body tight against his cock, a heat even the condom couldn't cut, how Johnny's body clenched around him and tried to hold Bull in every time he pulled away, Bull couldn't think about any of that, even as every moment of it engrained itself into his memory.

Bull could feel Johnny starting to tense under him, feel his legs tremble and his fingers digging into Bull's scalp, and knew that he would finish again soon. He turned his head and kissed Johnny's cheek, whispering, "I wanna feel you around me when you come. Can you do that, Johnny?"

"God, Bull," Johnny breathed. "God, Bull." He tried to turn his face away from Bull, and hide his expression, but Bull kept their foreheads together. He saw, in a blurry way, as Johnny's face scrunched up tight and his breath stopped. Johnny's body went utterly still under Bull, the space of half a breath stretching out and out, until Johnny jerked and exhaled in a low wail, like the air being let out of a tire. Bull kissed him to breath in the the sound, and Johnny's lips vibrated against his. His ass clenched tight for a moment then relaxed, not quite bringing Bull off as he came. Bull thought he felt his name on Johnny's lips, but couldn't be sure.

Johnny's come shot between their bodies, catching where their chests touched in a sticky mess. Bull rubbed it between them as he kept thrusting into Johnny.

His movements were lazy and smooth now. He could feel the buzzing pleasure of his body drawing itself in for his own orgasm, and wanted to let it wash over him, not rush it. He had to break the kiss again, but that just let Johnny babble his name over and over again.

Bull came with the sound of Johnny's voice in his ear, with Johnny's fingers in his hair, with Johnny's legs wrapped around him still, holding their bodies tight. Bull came with a sob of pleasure, and moisture in his eyes. Bull came without a word, because the only thing he could think to say was, "I love you," and even in that moment he knew the words wouldn't be welcome.

Johnny pulled Bull's head down to his shoulder and stroked his hair as he came. "Bull, I..." he started to say, but let it lie there.

Bull was grateful for it. He wanted to have this moment to keep. He knew he would hold it close to him on the hard, cold nights ahead when he didn't have much else for comfort. It was better if neither of them spoiled it by saying anything now. Bull kissed the salt off Johnny's shoulder and closed his eyes, pretending as hard as he could that he believed this would be the first night of many. He stayed like that until his heart settled down, and he thought that if he rolled off the bed now, his knees would hold him up.

"You're getting heavy," Johnny finally said, and shoved lightly at Bull's shoulder.

"Sorry," Bull muttered. He pinched the top of the condom to make sure it stayed on and rolled off of Johnny onto the floor. He crumpled the spent rubber in a paper bag and tried to wipe himself off with a pocket square. It all felt sordid and cheap after what they'd felt together, or what Bull had felt at least. He could feel the pleasure of the moment flowing away as fast as his body cooled, and dread for what was to come flooding in after it.

Bull knew how this would go: a flippant compliment, a vague promise to do this again some time, Johnny going out drinking with Bill and probably finding a girl or two along the way. Bull picked his skivvies and undershirt out of the pile of clothes on the floor and slid into them. It felt better to face this with some modicum of dignity.

"Bull?" Johnny asked. He sounded upset, but Bull didn't think he was ready to look at him just yet. He didn't know if he ever would be. He should say he needed to take a piss and escape to the toilets down the hall. If they each took a few minutes to put themselves back together again, maybe Bull would be able to handle how he'd always known it was going to be. He turned and started for the door. "Bull!" Johnny snapped, freezing him in place.

Despite himself, Bull turned. Johnny was sitting up on the bed now, still naked except for his dog tags and the scowl on his face.

Bull ducked his head to acknowledge that he'd heard Johnny, but didn't say anything.

Johnny patted the bed beside him. "Sit here for a second, will you?"

It wasn't really a request, and Bull didn't have any better idea anyway. He settled a little further away from Johnny than they'd sat the first time, not nearly close enough for their legs to accidentally touch. Bull was getting cold, but didn't want to rub his arms in front of Johnny.

"You all right?" Johnny touched Bull's wrist. His fingers were so warm it made Bull shiver.

"Yeah, course," Bull said. "Just wanted to wash up."

Johnny's hand closed around Bull, trapping him sure as a pair of handcuffs. "Bull..."

Bull didn't turn to look, just keep staring straight ahead. Johnny's bunk was still made army neat, but his comb was lying on the blanket, and of course the pillow was gone.

"You really are sweet on me, aren't you?" Johnny said. He didn't sound angry, more curious, and maybe astonished.

Bull had half a second to wait before he said, "no," and came up with some joke to brush it off. Too fast, and he'd give away the truth with the speed of his lie. He waited too long. The silent space he left only confirmed what Johnny had said, and then he didn't have any words left to escape with.

"Only a bit," Bull said at the same instant as Johnny told him, "I don't mind it if you are."

Their words overlapped again when Bull said, "You don't mean that," same as Johnny replied, "More than a bit."

Bull heard every word, and every word paled against the steady pressure of Johnny's hand on his wrist. This time Johnny didn't speak, and Bull had the silence to himself. He broke it. "More than a bit," he admitted, "but, Johnny, I won't let it bother you none."

Bull knew too well the joke about the pansy who trailed after normal men, forever hoping that one of them would show him a glimmer of interest, taking whatever scraps they dished out, even if they came with the back of a hand. He'd always promised himself that wouldn't be him, no matter what, and he planned to stick with that vow.

"Bother me?" Johnny half yelled, his fingernails bit into Bull's wrist, and Bull's heart nearly stopped. He stayed perfectly still and listened as Johnny took a breath to calm himself down. He took another one for good measure, and Bull thought his heart was going to pound out of his ribs before Johnny said anything at all. He stayed suspended, until Johnny sighed and said, "Bull, if that was bothering me, you can bother me any time you like."

"Oh." Bull didn't know what else to say beyond that, he still didn't know where was safe ground and where the mines were in this conversation, so he kept mum.

"Christ," Johnny muttered. Out of the corner of his eye, Bull saw him run his hand through his hair, slicking it back out of his face. He'd need to cut it soon. He was hesitating same as he had before asking Bull to go slow. "As long as it don't fuck up the platoon, I ain't gonna complain about the best lay I've had since... well, I gotta tell you, it's been a while."

It wasn't exactly a declaration of love, but at the same time, it was what Bull had said he'd wanted. He'd aimed to show Johnny he was worth keeping around, and it seemed like he had. Bull found that he was smiling, and turned to look at Johnny, who was still frowning, but in general annoyance, not annoyance at Bull. He was also still naked, and it was early yet. Johnny caught Bull's eye and smiled back, just a little, then squeezed Bull's wrist gently and let him go. The gesture freed Bull from this conversation, just so long as he wanted to be free.

"I'd like to keep bothering you, then," Bull told him. He brushed the backs of his knuckles across Johnny's cheekbone, and smiled wider when Johnny's eyes crinkled and he leaned into Bull's touch. It gave him the courage to say, "If I was the only one bothering you, I wouldn't need the rubbers, neither."

He watched Johnny's lips thin as he thought about that, but then Johnny nodded ever so slightly, and Bull felt his heart lift.

He was going to keep showing Johnny how he felt, until piece by piece he put it together, until maybe Johnny felt that way too. They had months yet before they went into combat, and that was the kind of time Bull could work with.

Bull twisted his hand up in Johnny's dog tags, and pulled him in, and kissed him.


End file.
